(last year pict)

its 10.03am in the morning. all alone at home as usual. parents off to work and brothers off to school and work individually. im having my off today so i'll pamper myself at home and hopefully will not go out anywhere. i miss lazing around at home. just watch tv and simply have fun. working has been tiring and suprisingly this week is my third week of week. congrats dayah, you persevered throughout your working hours.

not only did i persevered for work, i did for my o-levels too. alhamdulillah praises to God that i achieved what i wanted. i'm elated upon seeing my results. even if i didnt get to be the top student just like during N-levels, im quite satisfied. there's a few As which im very proud of. my english which have been my worst subject has achieved a passing grade that will qualify me to go to polytechnic. mdm azzah, my english teacher, has been a great help to me. amaths results was suprisingly unexpected because i know i cried my hearts out after doing the paper. i left alot of blanks which can cause me tonnes of marks to be gone. seriously no kidding. i was speechless seeing the grade i get for amaths. what else? oh ya im thankfully to my peers, family and teachers who encouraged me to retake my maths and malay. i repeated both subject. firstly, i was in a dilemma whether to repeat for the 2nd time or just stay with the grades i get. after much consideration i made up my mind and retake both of it. my effort turns out worth while. (:

so in conclusion... all those sleepless nights, memorising the notes until morning, practice and more practice, doing tys after tys, doing all those worksheets given by the teachers(actually not all uh, some only hehe) , after much scolding and nagging from the teachers, going home late due to extra lessons everyday and coming back to school for consultations even if its the holidays are allllllllll worth it! so to this year o-levels candidate i wish u all the best. its going to be a rollercoaster ride for you people. but whenever there's a will, there's a way.



to dearest aishah, cheer up okay? if u need help, i will be there for you to give a helping hand. its not the end. please make ur decisions wisely. if you need me, i'm a phone call/message away. love you cousin. (:



to dearest aisyah, congratulations babe for being one of the the top students. so now it's your turn that your face will be posted outside the school gate. hahaha. and pleaseee stop being a last minute monkey, can? (:



to dearest aini, pleaseeee do your best for o-levels. you want to pyscho people right next year? u better achieve good grades to qualify for that course. hahaha. jangan semangat 5 minute je eh... (:

now, since i get back my results i have to decide what course should i take. im interested in science related courses. pharmaceutical can be one of my options which left me 11 more courses to choose from. i really dont want to suffer in poly with the course im not confident with and most importantly not the one that is not to my interest. by tonight, i should apply my course. i dont want to waste any more precious time. insyaallah, i will make the right choice. amin.

anyways, i have 2 major things to decide. a decision that will affect my entire life. a decision that will determine how my life will be like in the long run. a wrong decision wont be any help as it will make things harder for me and yes, i have to suffer and bear the consequences. the first thing i have to decide is of course about my poly course. the second thing is something personal. tears have been my bestfriend during my sleepless nights recently. i just cant express in words how hurtful im feeling right now. just thinking about It makes my heart really swell. i dont know what to think and what to do. adding on im sick this few days. so im not in the best mood to entertain all these heart aching situation. i just leave it to God. i always believed that everything happens for a reason. God knows whats best for its people. we cant blame Him if something didnt work out as what we wanted it to be. berserah. tawakal. percaya kepada qada' dan qadar tuhan.

Percaya kepada qada' dan qadar adalah mempercayai bahawa segala yang berlaku adalah ketentuan Allah semata-mata. Sebagai seorang Islam wajiblah kita sedar bahawa kita adalah makluk yang lemah, bahawa Allah itulah yang maha Perkasa dan maha Berkuasa dan segala sesuatu adalah berlaku dengan ketetapanNya sahaja. Lantaran itu kita wajib beriman kepada takdir, bahawa segala sesuatu telah ditentukan oleh Allah.Walaupun begitu kita masih boleh berusaha dan berdoa kerana dengan limpah rahmatnya, Allah mampu mengubah takdir kita.

okay then. thats it for now.
adios!